Self Love or Selfishness

Self Love versus Selfishness

Self Love and Selfishness are not the same.  The “I have to love myself first” statement as one attempts to steam roll or control another person is not the definition of self love.  There are many differences between the two, one embraces others and themselves; the other excuses their own behaviors while blaming others.  In the psychology industry, therapists have concluded that self-love is a component that every human being requires whereas selfishness can be a detriment to one’s mental health.  With that being said, becoming aware of the difference between self love and selfishness can help you to determine whether you have a love for yourself. Do you?

What is Self Love?

I think self love is nurturing & taking responsibility for one’s self and continually looking within throughout life’s journey. Are you feeling fulfilled? Are you happy with yourself and where you are going in life?  What’s your answer when it comes to you? It is important to nurture your emotions and to take pride in your achievements. Accomplishments are not just the awards, trophies, degrees or social markers we acquire after working towards specific goals; they are also the day to day moments. Each human is born with a set of unique characteristics and traits exclusively for each of us. One beauty of that truth is its affirmation that only YOU can be YOU.  With the help of internal validation, we are able to provide ourselves with soothing comfort in the event of a detrimental occurrence or the challenges of everyday life. Take on your responsibilities and claim the power within you.

What is Selfishness?

In contrast to self love, selfishness is when someone doesn’t take the feelings of others into account and often blames, instead of take responsibility for their actions.  Individuals who experience selfishness may not have typical moral boundaries or biased view about justice or fairness.  There are many people in the world who suffer from selfishness believing it is self love or self preservation. Not necessarily on a conscious level, they believe that situations or people should serve them because they are already mindful of others.  Unfortunately, selfishness can be a hazardous dis-ease that can exploit other people that are in the circle of the offender.  The behaviour of someone who is selfish can potentially victimize others while believing it is an act of protection of themselves.

Claim your victory and take control of your life. The power is within you to love you and be the victor NOT THE VICTIM! Embrace your responsibility and create you! It’s ALL up to YOU

Photo courtesy of http://yourhappinessway.com/be-selfish/

Infidelity + Marriage = No Love ... or

Relationships and Infidelity: The Truth

Relationships and infidelity can often seem black and white. For instance, infidelity may always seem wrong, inexplicable, or scary in the context of a marriage. However, this is not always the case. Just because you experience infidelity does not mean that you are not loved. Let’s talk about how infidelity in relationships, including marriage, may occur for reasons other than lack of caring. Infidelity may actually be linked to biology, genes, or other factors. Read on to learn the truth behind infidelity for some partners.

We’re Not (Always) Programmed for Monogamy

There are many things that can contribute to infidelity. Scientists even claim that, for some people, infidelity can be linked to genes. From a biological standpoint, one could very well argue we are meant to reproduce as often as possible. Reproduction does not need any emotional attachment. Animals do it all the time, and we are but animals ourselves. Studies show that we may also be biologically programmed to seek out more than one mate. Having more than one mate diversifies the gene pool. This diversification makes it more likely that our offspring will thrive, as will their offspring.

Sexual versus Emotional Infidelity

Don’t think that all infidelity is always linked to romantic involvement. Often, those in relationships outside their partnership or marriage may only be in it for the sex. This observation may not seem so comforting. But, you need to understand that it is possible for people to have sex without having feelings for the other person. Such a realizations you help you to better understand how a person could have an affair and still love you. Emotional infidelity, or a combination of emotional and sexual infidelity is also possible. However, if your partner tells you it was only sex, consider the source. They could be telling the truth. 

Not All Relationships That Experience Infidelity are Unhappy

A recent study shows, overwhelming, that those who are married, but have had affairs, do not see their marriages as unhappy. In fact, on a survey, many of these same spouses rated their marriage as being very happy or at least happy. This proves that just because a person cheats on you it does not always mean that they are unhappy with you. Instead, their infidelity may because of any of the reasons outlined above. Just remember it’s not your fault, and your spouse may very well still love you.

Love Colored Glasses

There are some things in life that can change your entire perspective and alter the way that you see the world. Love is a powerful emotion that simply makes everything better. Have you ever heard people say that colors are brighter and food tastes better when they are in love? You might have rolled your eyes and grinned unless you too have experienced the euphoria and pure pleasure that comes with being in love. Relationships in their beginning stages at times are pure bliss that come from dating the person we believe is “right for us”, our “soul mate”. Our thoughts shout, this is the “love of my life” as you fly, not walk among the clouds. Of course, not every experience you have with dating will bring this type of joy into your life, but love always does.

Mood Altering

Being in Love makes everything seem brighter and better, because it alters your mood. No matter what happens you are able to see the bright side of any situation. When you are dating a special person, you will likely know it right away. The signs of love are evident and can take over all aspects of your life. You will most likely have a permanent smile attached to your face and a wandering mind that is focused on the person you are dating.

What Feeling?

Being in Love is beyond physical attraction to good looks or a sweet smile. It is an injection of intense feelings that can overpower your body whenever you are around or even think about that special someone in your life. The intense feelings of love allow you to reach a level of euphoria and happiness that are often unattainable without this type of relationship in your life. If you are not in love, you will most likely be missing something meaningful and it will affect the way that you feel. However, when you are in love you feel like your best self and have a rush of chemicals inside your body that allow you to feel true joy.

Sweaty Palms and Pure Bliss

It is not hard to determine when the love bug has caught up to you and bit you. You will normally have all the telltale signs from sweaty palms to a beating chest. A smile that never quits and a feeling of happiness that persists are also side effects of dating the person of your dreams. You should never settle for a relationship that doesn’t give you these feelings. Pure bliss and permanent feelings of happiness are possible if you truly fall in love.

So what do you say? Are you ready to put on your pair of love colored glasses?